The Invader Horror Zim Show
by SleetGeekArtist
Summary: Dib and Gaz crash their hovercar on the way home from their father's failed attempt at marriage. What will happen when they seek help at the old abandoned castle? ZaGr, DaTr, RaPr, GaMr, char. death. R&R, please!
1. Chapter 1

The Invader Horror Zim Show

Part 1

Dib and Gaz walked out of the church. "Well, that was rather interesting." Dib commented. He sipped his soda and looked at his dad, who was running from his would-be bride, getting hit over the head with the bouquet.

"Dad should have just taken the day off. But noooo, he just had to leave his bride behind at the altar. Stupid!" Gaz muttered. She was actually excited to finally have a mom again. Her biological mother had died from a lab accident during "Bring your Spouse to Work Day" at Professor Membrane's office, nine years ago. Gaz was fourteen, now, and she needed a mom to help her with her recent changes. How do you put on makeup? Do these shoes go with this top? It was confusing, and the pamphlets her father had gotten her didn't help.

"Yeah, well. Hey, I don't think Dad's gonna be getting that car ready. Wanna use the hovercraft?" Gaz nodded through disappointed tears. "Great! I'll drive!"

"Dib! Land this thing now!" Gaz shouted over the heavy winds. Rain lashed at her face, much like the tree branches that the hovercraft was barely avoiding.

"Gaz, I have everything under control. Remember, I'm a year older than you, and I get to make the decisions." Lightning briefly illuminated Dib's facial features, and a creepy castle that rushed past with a light in one window.

"Land this hunk of metal, NOW, or I'll condemn you to a nightmare world of no awakening for all- Look out!" If it were possible to view life in slow-motion, a witness would see that the hovercraft had flipped over a pine tree. Gaz was grimacing at her dim-witted brother, who was doubled over in pain due to a branch that had struck him in the land of no return.

The two siblings tumbled headlong through the tree cover, landing forcefully on the hard ground. Dib was rolling about in pain on the ground, getting mud all over his trenchcoat. Now ruined, he left it in the puddle next to him. Dib had five others at home, so it was a small loss.

"Ugh, I _told_ you to land that thing! You never listen to me! No one does…" Gaz hung her head, sad and angry at the world. She was always so alone, well, except for that one Iggins kid. But the most they had done was kiss, and he was trying to break her heart for stealing the Gameslave 2. She never let him past first base, though, and broke his arm on their second date.

"I can't get a signal from the Swollen Eyeballs, and my phone broke in the fall. Let's go check out that old castle we passed. They're bound to have a phone." Dib broke Gaz from her thoughts of failed relationships.

"People still have landlines?" Gaz asked no one in particular as she followed her brother along the path.

Dib lifted the knocker on the door. It pounded upon the oak frame, the sound reverberating along the edge of the woods. The door was opened by a rather…unique looking individual. He was hunchbacked, with sunken eyes. He had a spindly frame, seemingly supported by strange, round objects located at his wrists and shoulders. His head was square, and his eyes were purple. The most striking thing was his skin, all green. Music came from inside the house. "Hello there." Dib cheerfully stated, oblivious to the man's green skin. "My sister and I were hoping that you would have a phone that we could use. Our, um, car, broke down and we need to call a mechanic." The man cast his eyes over Dib's entire body. Seemingly pleased, he allowed Dib and Gaz to enter.

The music seemed very loud. "Are you having some sort of party?" Gaz asked, bemused.

The man finally spoke. "You've arrived on a very special night. It's one of the master's affairs." His voice was oddly high-pitched. Gaz nodded, still bemused.

"Oh, well, lucky him." Gaz smiled, trying not to let this weirdo see her clear hatred for all living things. Someone came down from the staircase. They looked like the first strange man, except he (who was dressed as a "she") was red where the first was purple.

"I'm lucky, she's lucky, you're lucky, we're all lucky!" The red one laughed, tossing the purple one a colorful feather duster. A nearby clock chimed midnight, whereupon a guitar in the next room started a riff. The purple gentleman opened the clock, revealing a skeleton, and proceeded to dust. He sang along with the music.

"_It's astounding. Time is fleeting. Madness, takes its toll. But listen closely," _The red gentleman joined in.

"_Not for very much longer." _Then the purple one went on with this song.

"_I've got to keep control. I remember, doing the Time Warp! Drinking, those moments when! The blackness within me!"_ The red one joined in. "_And the void would be calling!"_

_Let's do the Time Warp again!_

Gaz and Dib burst into a room filled with green-skinned people, all dressed in over-the-top tuxedos.

It's just a jump to the left.

_And then a step to the ri-ght!_

Put your hands on your hips.

_And bring your knees in tight!_

_Then it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insa-ne!_

_Let's do the Time Warp again!_

_Let's do the Time Warp again!_

The red one started a solo, throwing himself into it as though it would satisfy some sort of urge.

_It's so dreamy, oh, fantasy free me!_

_So you can't see me,_

_No, not at all._

_In another dimension,_

_With voyeuristic intention,_

_Well secluded, I see all._

Purple: _With a bit of a mind-flip_

Red: _You're into the time-slip!_

Purple: _And nothing, can ever be the same._

Red: _You're spaced-out on sensation, oh!_

Purple: _Like you're under sedation!_

_Let's do the Time Warp again!_

_Let's do the Time Warp again!_

It's just a jump to the left,

_And then a step to the ri-ght_

Put your hands on your hips,

_And bring your knees in ti—ght_

_Then it's the pelvic thrust,_

_That really drives you insa-ne_

_Let's do the Time Warp again!_

_Let's do the Time Warp again!_

The purple and red gentlemen danced over to a small, red-eyed robot in a gold sequined tuxedo jacket and matching top hat, seated on a jukebox. It proceeded to sing in a female voice.

_Well I was walking down the street just having a think,_

_When a snake of a guy gave me an evil wink,_

_He shook me up; he took me by surprise,_

_He had a pick-up truck,_

_And the devil's eyes!_

_He stared at me, and I felt a change,_

_Time meant nothing, never would again._

_Let's do the Time Warp again!_

_Let's do the Time Warp again!_

It's just a jump to the left.

_And then a step to the ri-ght_

Put your hands on your hips.

_And bring your knees in ti—ght_

_Then it's the pelvic thrust,_

_That really drives you insa-ne_

_Let's do the Time Warp again!_

_Let's do the Time Warp again!_

The robot began to tap dance across the floor, whooping and yelling as she did so.

Whoo!

Ahh!

Ohhh-whoa!

Yow!

Aaaaahhhhhhh!

_Let's do the Time Warp again!_

_Let's do the Time Warp again!_

It's just a jump to the left!

_And then a step to the ri-ght_

Put your hands on your hips

_And bring your knees in tight!_

_Then it's the pelvic thrust,_

_That really drives you insa-ne!_

_Let's do the Time Warp again!_

_Let's do the Time Warp again!_

Everyone collapsed on the floor as the jukebox broke, the music landing in a discorded heap upon Dib's and Gaz's ears.

"Say something!" Gaz commanded, punching her brother in the arm. He paused before declaiming:

"Say, do any of you guys know how to shuffle?" Gaz facepalmed as the entire room looked at them. They started to laugh in a strange manner, as if they were expecting something of their unexpected guests.

"Dib, let's get out of here. We're intruding, and I really don't like that look on their faces." Gaz looked nervously towards the slowly rising mob, many of them licking their lips.

"Gaz, you know we can't leave until we get to a PHONE" Dib said "phone" rather loudly, hoping to get the attention of the purple butler and his red maid friend. "Besides, these people are obviously foreigners who don't recognize our customs. Perhaps they may perform some more, 'folk dancing'" the crowd giggled at Dib's mild remark. The elevator in the hall began to groan.

"Dib, let's go! It's unhealthy here, and these people obviously don't have a phone." Immediately after Gaz said that, a green woman in a strapless black unitard and fishnet stockings appeared in the elevator. Gaz screamed at the purple-eyed, beauty-marked phantom. Strangely enough, more music started as the door to the elevator opened, and the woman began to sing.

_How do you do, I_

_See you've met my_

_Faithful handyman._

_He's just a little brought down, because_

_When you knocked_

_He thought you were the candy man!_

_Don't get strung out_

_By the way I look._

_Don't judge a book by its cover._

_I'm not much of a man,_

_By the light of day,_

_But by night I'm one hell of a lover!_

_I'm just a sweet transvestite,_

_From transsexual, Transylvania! Haha!_

_Let me show you around, maybe_

_Play you a sound._

_You look like you're both pretty groovy._

_Or, if you want something visual,_

_That's not to abysmal,_

_We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie._

Dib began to explain while the music still played in the background. "I'm glad we caught you at home. Could we use your phone? We're both in a bit of a hurry. We'll just say where we are, then go back to the, erm, car. We don't want to be any worry."

_Well, you got, caught with a flat_

_Well, how about that?_

_Well, babies, don't you panic._

_By the light of the night_

_It'll all seem alright_

_I'll get you a satanic, mechanic_

_I'm just a sweet transvestite_

_From transsexual, Transylvania! Haha!_

_Why don't you, stay for the night? (Night)_

_Or maybe, a bite? (Bite)_

_I could show you my favorite, obsession._

_I've been making a man._

_With red eyes and a tan._

_And he's good for relieving my, tension._

_I'm just a sweet transvestite,_

_From transsexual, Transylvania! Hit it!_

_I'm just a sweet transvestite, (Sweet transvestite)_

_From transsexual, Transylvania! Haha!_

_So, come up to the lab,_

_And see what's on the slab._

_I see you shiver, with antici-_

_-pation._

_But maybe the rain!_

_Is really to blame._

_So I'll remove the cause,_

_But not the symptom!_

So saying, the green woman departed in the elevator.


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2

"So I see that you'll be staying the night. I suppose introductions are in order." The butler said from his location on the stage. "My name is Purple, and this is my partner, Red." He gestured toward the gentleman dressed as a maid. Purple and Red cast each other fiery looks. "And this is MiMi" he offhandly gestured to the gold-tuxedoed robot.

"Hi! Let's go up to the lab, the master said she wanted to see you there." MiMi squealed. She dashed up to the small group at the door.

"Speaking of, who is she? What's her name?" Dib asked Red, who had somehow approached without making a noise.

"She is none other than the famous Dr. Tak Frankenfurter. It's quite an honor to be allowed into her laboratory. Here, let me take those wet clothes." Red began to pull Dib's soaked shirt off, handing him a white terrycloth robe. Purple was doing the same with Gaz.

"Thank you. Now, about the lab, have you ever been there? Has anyone here ever been there?" Dib slid the robe on over his shoulders, tying it about the waist.

"Of course I've been there, I live here! It is quite magnificent; however it is a pain to clean." Red rolled his eyes. He smiled when Purple slid his arm over Red's shoulder, blushing at Purple's madly burning eyes.

"Here we are." Purple said as the elevator came to a halt. MiMi pulled the door open, leading the remainder of the group into a large room with a freezer, audience section, and two pieces of strange machinery. One seemed to be a security device. The other appeared to be some kind of large fishtank that could be raised to an aperture in the ceiling. Whatever was inside the tank was covered by a large blanket. Dr. Tak Frankenfurter was standing over this strange machine. She greeted the newcomers with a maniac smile.

"Hello, friends. Red, Purple, MiMi, my trusted servants. Gaz, trusted guest. Dib, new playthi- I mean, honored guest." Tak coughed behind her hand. "What you are about to see will change the world forever. Life! Life, created by me! And quite a _beautiful_ bit of life too." She grinned, throwing back the blanket. Underneath was a mummy-wrapped shape, seemingly human, except it had a pair of antenna poking out from the head. "I call him… Zim! Purple! Raise the-"Tak was cut off by a large explosion, seemingly from the freezer. A small robot on a motorcycle burst through the wall. It looked like MiMi, except its eyes were blue, and it was wearing a black leather jacket.

"Gir!" MiMi squealed, racing up to the robot. She dove into his arms, and they kissed. More music started up again.

_What ever happened to Saturday night?_

_When you got dressed up and you felt alright._

_It don't seem the same since cosmic light,_

_Came into my life, I thought I was divine!_

_I used to go for a ride with a chick who'd go_

_And listen to the music on the, radio_

_A saxophone was blowing on a rock and roll show_

_You'd climb in the backseat,_

_Really had a good time!_

_Hot patootie, bless my soul,_

_I really love that rock-and-roll!_

_Hot patootie, bless my soul,_

_I really love that rock-and-roll!_

_Hot patootie, bless my soul,_

_I really love that rock-and-roll!_

_Hot patootie, bless my soul,_

_I really love that rock-and-roll!_

He began to play a saxophone, which was odd because the instrument was twice as tall as he was, give or take a few inches.

_My head used to swim with the perfume I smelt,_

_My hands kinda fumbled with her white plastic belt,_

_I'd taste her baby pink lipstick,_

_And that's when I'd melt,_

_She'd whisper in my ear,_

_Tonight she really was mine!_

_Get back in front,_

_Put some hair oil on,_

_Buddy Holly was singing his, very last song,_

_With your arms around your girl, you try to sing along,_

_You felt pretty good, whew!_

_You really had a good time!_

_Hot patootie, bless my soul,_

_I really love that rock-and-roll!_

_Hot patootie, bless my soul,_

_I really love that rock-and-roll!_

_Hot patootie, bless my soul,_

_I really love that rock-and-roll!_

_Hot patootie, bless my soul,_

_I really love that rock-and-roll!_

_Hot patootie, bless my soul,_

_I really love that rock-and-roll!_

_Hot patootie, bless my soul,_

_I really love that rock-and-roll!_

_Hot patootie, bless my soul,_

_I really love that rock-and-roll!_

_Hot patootie, bless my soul,_

_I really love that rock-and-roll!_

Tak came up from behind Gir and chased him back into the freezer. She had a crowbar in her three-fingered hand. They both disappeared into the fog-filled freezer. Screaming and the clash of metal-on-metal could be heard. MiMi screamed, clutching her head. Tak soon emerged; the crowbar was dented and had broken blue glass stuck to it. "One from the vaults" She attempted to explain. Dib and Gaz were breathless in any case. "Where were we? Oh, yes. Purple, raise the table! It's time we gave my creation life!" Purple walked over to a large pulley system attached to the main machine. As he turned the oversized crank, the fishtank was lifted to the aperture in the ceiling, which had opened, letting in the storm. Lightning struck the tightly bound bundle, causing electricity to bounce from the antenna. Purple cranked the tank back down. Tak rushed over to some sort of lever system and poured some colorful liquids inside. The mummified something sat up. Red and Purple began to unwrap the bandages from its head, revealing a green-skinned man with antenna and large, ruby red eyes. "Welcome to life, my creation! Your name is Zim, and I am your creator, Tak. You will obey me with every fiber of your carefully constructed being. Especially those wrapped in gold!" Tak began to laugh at the sky. Zim's bandages fell away, revealing that he was wearing nothing except what could only be described as a gold Speedo. Dib gagged despite himself.

"Well, that was interesting." Gaz offhandly commented. Tak waltzed towards them, clasping her hands together near her head.

"Isn't he just perfect? What do you think of him?" Tak asked her guests. Dib was frozen with a "WTF?" face.

"Meh. I'm not a fan of large muscles." Gaz shrugged.

"I didn't make him for YOU!" Tak shouted, suddenly mad. "He's just perfect, I know he is. I made him myself, you know." Gaz rolled her eyes. Dib finally awoke from his shocked stupor.

"Why would you make someone anyway? And why do you all have green skin? And no ears or noses? And what was that about me being a 'new plaything'?" Dib raised his eyebrow. Zim was wandering around the lab, distinctly avoiding Tak. In fact, it almost seemed like he was afraid.

"Oh, Dib. That was a simple slip of the tongue. I never meant to call you that, at least not in front of all these people." Tak licked her lips. She grinned at Dib's dumbstruck expression. "As for the whole, green-skin-no-ears-or-noses thing, we simply have a mutation in our genetics that causes this." She nodded to make her point.

"I suppose it's time for bed. It's been a long day. MiMi, show the guests to their rooms. Purple and I have some business to take care of." Red commanded. He was staring at Purple's eyes so strongly; his arms were wrapped around Purple's waist. Purple carried Red to the stairs, where they departed for the evening. MiMi grabbed Gaz and Dib by the hand and pulled them to the elevator.


	3. Chapter 3

Part 3

Dib had passed out on the canopy bed he was provided. It had been a long day.

Suddenly, he felt a warm and pleasant sensation pervade his body. Groggily, he opened his eyes. There was something under the covers that was moving. Dib looked under the covers, only to find that Tak was mouthing the area that had been struck by a pine tree only hours before! "You!" he shouted, sitting up.

"Yes Dib, it's only me." Tak smiled, allowing her six fingers to wander about. Dib grunted with pleasure despite himself. "Isn't it nice? Of course, these are all just tasters. Are you prepared for the main course?" Tak was throwing fiery glances at him from the foot of the bed. She was slowly climbing closer.

"But what about Zim? Isn't this what you made him for?" Dib asked; Tak was hovering a few inches from his face. It was only now that he realized that they were both au naturel.

"Hmm. Yes, but he's more like a son to me, seeing as I created him. But _you…_" Tak leaned forward, placing her mouth on Dib's. Her tongue was long and warm, her lips were soft and plump, and the rest of her… Let's simply say that it was Dib's greatest mistake of his life.

Meanwhile, they were being watched by Gaz through the security monitors in the lab. She could never sleep without her flesh-eating robot security system. "Stupid Dib. He's just throwing himself away to the first one to open her legs." She shook her head.

"Well, the Tak's persuasion powers are quite strong. I should know, I've fallen victim to them once." Gaz whirled around, only to see Zim standing at the top of the stairs. She was shocked that he could speak.

"You can talk? And what do you mean persuasion powers? And when did you fall for them? You were only created today, and I've been watching these cameras for hours." Gaz couldn't ask fast enough.

"I'll answer those in order. Yes, I can talk. By 'persuasion powers' I mean Tak has methods for getting what she wants. By my estimation, I fell for them two months ago. Tak didn't create me; she simply brought me out of a state of suspended animation." Zim paused; looking over Gaz's confused features. "It was about nine weeks ago that I crashed on this planet. Thankfully, or so I thought so at the time, another Irken found me before the local authorities could. That Irken was Tak. She brought me into her home and nursed me back to health. However, about a week after I crashed, she attempted to preform upon me what you have seen with your brother. I couldn't fight her off, since I was too weak. Eight weeks later, she tried again. However, I was strong enough to keep her away by this point. Gir had been helping me heal by bringing me medication. Speaking of, where is Gir?" Gaz didn't have the heart to tell him his only friend had been brutally murdered. "Well, anyway, Tak decided that I had gotten too strong. She put me under suspended animation, hoping that it would give me amnesia. Her plan failed, as you can see." He gestured at his self, ginning at how healthy he looked.

"Well, I guess your story isn't as crappy as mine" Gaz sighed. Unbeknownst to her, she was being watched by Red and Purple through their television monitor.

"Tell us about it, Gaz"

_I was feeling done in,_

_Couldn't win,_

_I'd only ever kissed before_

_(Red: You mean she-?_

_Purple: Uh-huh.)_

_I felt there's no use getting,_

_Into heavy petting,_

_It only leads to trouble, and,_

_Seat-wetting._

_Now all I want to know,_

_Is how to go._

_I've tasted blood and I want more_

_(Red and Purple: More, more, more!)_

_I'll put up no resistance,_

_I want to stay the distance,_

_I've got an itch to scratch,_

_I need assistance!_

_Touch-a, touch-a, touch-a, touch me,_

_I wanna be dirty!_

_Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me,_

_Creature of the Night!_

_Then if anything grows,_

_While you pose,_

_I'll oil you up and rub you down._

_(Red and Purple: Down, down, down!)_

_And that's just one small fraction,_

_Of the main attraction._

_You need a friendly hand,_

_And I need action!_

_Touch-a, touch-a, touch-a, touch me,_

_I wanna be dirty!_

_Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me,_

_Creature of the Night!_

_(Purple: Touch-a, touch-a, touch me!_

_Red: I wanna be dirty!_

_Purple and Red: Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me,_

_Creature of the night!)_

_Oh, touch-a, touch-a, touch-a, touch me!_

_I wanna be dirty!_

_Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me!_

_Creature of the night!_

Creature of the night!

Creature of the night?

Creature of the night.

Creature of the night!

Creature of the night?

Creature of the night!

Creature of the night!

_Creature of the night!_

Gaz gasped as Zim thrilled her, chilled her, and fulfilled her in the fishtank.


	4. Chapter 4

Part 4

"Master, we have a visitor. It appears to be an old friend." Purple's voice came through the PA system. "I suggest you stop fooling around and take care of this pest."

"Fine! Dib, I have to go. It's urgent." Tak climbed out of the bed and slipped on a purple piece of negligée. She began to walk out the door.

"No, Tak, don't go! Please!" If any phrase could have sounded like it was begging on its knees, it was that, "please" of Dib's. "Who is this guy? Maybe I can help."

"Alright, Dib, you can come too. But put a robe on. He's not the kind of person who likes seeing people nude." Tak had stopped at the door, waiting for Dib to pull his robe around his shoulders.

Professor Membrane was standing in the laboratory. Red was keeping him from touching anything and destroying Tak's work. Purple was doing his best to get the professor out of the castle. The two homosexual servants were just about to throttle the stuck-up scientist when Dib and Tak came in. "Dad? What are you doing here?" Dib asked, calling attention to himself yet again. He had forgotten that he was only wearing a robe, and that standing next to him was a green woman in lingerie.

"Son, what are you doing here? I suggest you leave immediately; this is important business I need to conduct. Wait, why are you only dressed in that robe?" Professor Membrane asked. Before Dib could answer, a loud moan could be heard from the peculiar fishtank that was attached to the machine that had brought Zim to life.

"What was that?" Tak asked out loud. As if in response, Gaz and Zim, Gaz holding a blanket to her chest, stood from their positions within the glass box.

"Gaz!" Dib shouted.

"Dib!" She shouted back.

"Gaz!" Membrane shouted.

"Dad!" Gaz shouted back.

"Zim!" Tak shouted. Zim turned his head and glared at her.

"Gaz!" Dib shouted again.

"Dib!" Gaz shouted back.

"Gaz!" Membrane shouted again.

"Dad!" Gaz shouted back.

"Zim!" Tak shouted again. Zim scowled at Tak.

"Gaz!" Dib shouted.

"Dib!" She shouted back.

"Gaz!" Membrane shouted.

"Dad!" Gaz shouted back.

"Zim!" Tak shouted. Zim squinted menacingly at her.

"What are you doing with him?" Dib yelled at Gaz. She blinked and glared back.

"Well, what were _you_ doing with that…that…TRAMP!" Gaz wasn't very clear on the true meaning of that word, but it sounded good. "She's been lying to us this whole time! She didn't create Zim, he crashed here. They're all aliens! Dib, call those Swollen people you keep talking about! Then we can go home and leave this all behind!" Zim looked at her, nearly crying. _She wants to leave me? But…I thought…She…_ Zim couldn't even think straight.

"I'm shocked, Zim. I made you! And I can break you just as easily!" Tak reprimanded Zim. She tapped a pointed finger on his chest; firm and sharp, like the fire that had flared up in her eyes.

"This still doesn't answer my question. Dib, why are you only wearing a robe?" Despite being a world-famous scientist, Membrane was fairly dense.

"Really, Dad? You haven't pieced that together? I just did Tak! Of course, you're so unobservant that you would never notice something like that." Tak licked her lips with her long, striped, serpentine tongue.

"Y-you want to…leave? Even after…?" Zim choked, referring to Gaz. "B-but I thought…" He couldn't get the words right.

"Son, I cannot believe that you would open yourself to this…this… 'horny be-otch', for lack of a better word." Membrane shouted at his son. He tried to look empowered, but failed in every respect.

"What? Oh, Zim, no. I didn't mean it like that! I just figured that, maybe, you could come with us, or something…" Gaz's face flushed, not realizing that the hot alien next to her might take it the wrong way.

"You! Stop! He's mine!" Tak shouted. It was unclear whether she was yelling at Gaz or Professor Membrane.

"Well, believe it! I'm older than you think I am! You never spent any time with me, or Gaz. When mom died, you just kept curing diseases and inventing. You don't care, you never cared! I'm not your son, Professor Membrane. Not anymore. I'm tired of having to be the adult in the family when you're always gone!" This monologue was very unexpected, coming from Dib. Even he was shocked; it was as if Gaz had momentarily possessed him.

"Dinner has been prepared." Red's voice came over the PA system, flat and bored. Everyone glared at everyone else as MiMi led them to the dining hall.

The air was tense at the table. Red, Purple, and MiMi were serving the food, flourishing about with their arms in an attempt to lighten the mood. They failed miserably.

Dib cast Membrane an angered look from under his brow. The professor hardly noticed. Gaz noticed the whole thing in shocked silence, wondering when her brother had gotten angsty. Tak just seemed mad. Her "creation" hated her, her plaything was angry with her biggest enemy, who was also his father, and her servants were all preoccupied with something else, at least mentally. Tak hung her head in quiet submission, plotting to kill them all when she got the chance. As an afterthought, she called her servants to bring some special supplies. Red and Purple passed out paper kazoos while MiMi put conical hats on everyone's heads. "Happy Birthday, to you! Happy Birthday, to you! Happy birthday, dear Zimmy! Happy Birthday, to you!" Tak applauded and blew her little kazoo, trying to keep her lies in place. No one else joined in, quickly killing the mood.

"It's not my birthday." Zim muttered. He slowly began to pick at the food on his plate. Gaz placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to be comforting. Zim shrugged it off.

"This is an excellent dinner, Dr. Frankenfurter. It almost reminds me of that one household robot that I built a few years ago. His official name was an acronym, G.I.R. I preferred to call him 'Eddie', though. He was like the son I never had." Membrane sighed at his memories, the fork that had been thrown from Dib's hand just missing his head. "Yes, I still carry a few pictures around so that I can remember him. He ran away, though. My assistants all claimed that he was defective. Poor boy…" Membrane pulled out a large scrapbook. Music started to play.

_From the day he was born,_

_He was trouble._

_He was deformed,_

_On his mother's side._

_She tried, in vain,_

_But it never caused her nothing but shame._

_He left home the day she died._

Strangely enough, this description fitted Dib almost perfectly.

_From the day she was gone,_

_All he wanted,_

_Was rock and roll on,_

_And a motor-bike._

"_Shooting up junk"_

_He was a low-down cheap little punk!_

_Taking everyone for a ri-de!_

_When Eddie said he didn't like his teddy,_

_You knew he was a no-good kid._

_And when he traded his bike,_

_For a switchblade knife!_

_What a guy,_

_Makes you cry,_

_And I did!_

MiMi's singing could be heard in the distance.

_Everybody shoved him,_

_I very nearly loved him,_

_I said," Hey, listen to me,_

_Be sane inside insanity!" _

_But he locked the door and threw away the key!_

Membrane continued;

_But he must have been drawn,_

_Into something,_

_Making him warn,_

_Me, in a note which reads,_

_(Gaz and Dib: What's it say, what's it say, what's it say?)_

A creepy Gir ghost voice began singing.

_I'm outta my head!_

_Oh, hurry, for I may be dead!_

_They mustn't carry out their evil scheme!_

_Ahhhhhhhhh!_

_When Eddie said he didn't like his teddy,_

_You knew he was a no-good kid._

_And when he traded his bike,_

_For a switchblade knife!_

_What a guy,_

_Makes you cry, _

_And I did!_

_When Eddie said he didn't like his teddy,_

_You knew he was a no-good kid._

_And when he traded his bike_

_For a switchblade knife!_

_What a guy,_

_(La, la, la, la)_

_Makes you cry,_

_(La, la, la, la)_

_And I did._

At that moment, Tak yanked the tablecloth from under the place settings, revealing the table to actually be a glass coffin. Inside this coffin, clearly visible, were the broken remains of Gir. The metal was bent in many places; oil leaked everywhere; wires crackled with electricity; one eye was broken, while the other flickered as if he were still alive somehow. MiMi, who had reappeared somehow, screamed for the third time since Gaz and Dib visited.

"It's a pity, really. Gir should have known to not get in my way." Tak half-muttered. Everyone shot her a different look; Dib's was the only one of understanding. He'd been crazy before, in all honesty he probably still was. It takes amazing willpower to keep from acting on the voices in your head.

"Y-you…k-k-killed him? Eddie? B-but, he was… he was like… like… my son." Membrane tugged at the edge of his goggles, letting the tears empty out. Dib weighed the steak knife he had in his hand, eventually deciding that it was too heavy to throw.

MiMi sobbed and dashed off, obviously stricken with grief. Gaz felt her heart strings snapping at the little robot's display of affection. _A tin can has more feeling than I do! Zim must feel horrible about this…_

"Gir?" Zim asked, crouching over the glass coffin. "You can't be dead…you can't be…no…don't worry…she'll pay, with interest… I'll miss you." He let his head drop to the surface of the glass, his antenna twitching over the top, as if to detect any remaining sounds that his only friend was alive. Gaz slid her hand over Zim's shoulders, trying to comfort with that simple action. Zim turned and wept into her neck, shuddering.

"She will pay, Zim. She'll pay for killing Gir and hurting you." Gaz kept her voice at a soothing whisper, slowly stroking Zim along his back. Gaz didn't know much about being nice, having had to seal away her emotions when she was younger. But seeing Zim so…vulnerable… It broke her heart like a porcelain vase. Just for that, Gaz was going to send Tak into a nightmare world of no waking where she would have rather had rabid weasels teleported into her head instead of killing Gir. Oh yes, when Gaz is concerned, there's hell to pay.

Membrane flew at Tak's throat, clearly mad about Gir's murder. Cries of, "He was my son!" and, "I'll kill you for this!" could be heard over the clatter of broken dishes and spilt food they had landed in. Dib sprang forward to save his alien lover, flinging a few punches and sharp pieces of plateware into his forgetful father's face. Membrane stumbled back, clutching a small scratch on his cheek. Dib protectively wrapped his arms around Tak, pulling his back to Membrane. The paranormal investigator couldn't save Tak from the sharp left hook from Zim, however. Dib sprang into the fray, fists flying. The two battled it out, almost as though they were born enemies. Tak and Membrane stumbled out of the way, Membrane clutching his cheek wound. Gaz drew her well-manicured fingernails across Tak's face, drawing blood. Tak responded with an uppercut to Gaz's midsection. Zim kicked Dib in a certain area that's been receiving a lot of attention. Dib threw some random discarded food in Zim's general direction, but his aim was off because of the pain he was experiencing. It landed in Gaz's hair.

Red and Purple rolled their eyes. In Purple's hand was a large ray gun like device. In one swift motion, he fired. All present were petrified, clothing was disintegrated in the bright flash of light. Thunder rolled on outside.


	5. Chapter 5

Part 5

No one really knew how, but Dib, Gaz, Membrane, MiMi, Tak, and Zim were all situated as statues on a large stage. Each statue was dressed in a black sequined unitard with extravagant feather boas and WAAAAAAY too much make-up. The MiMi statue was the first to wake up, whereupon she began singing.

_It was great when it all began,_

_I was a regular Tak fan!_

_But it was over when she had the plan,_

_To start working on a muscle-man._

_Now the only thing that gives me hope,_

_Is my love of a certain dope._

_Rose tints my world,_

_Keeps me safe from my trouble and pain!_

Zim was the next to wake up, seemingly under some sort of trance.

_I'm just seven hours old,_

_Truly beautiful to behold!_

_And somebody should be told,_

_My libido hasn't been controlled!_

_Now the only thing I've come to trust,_

_Is an orgasmic rush of lust,_

_Rose tints my world,_

_Keeps me safe from my trouble and pain!_

Dib awoke next, also hypnotized into believing all these campy sparkles.

_It's beyond me,_

_Help me mommy,_

_I'll be good, you'll see,_

_Take this dream away!_

_What's this, let's see,_

_I feel sexy!_

_What's come over me?_

_Here it comes again!_

Gaz was stirred out of petrification, singing along as if it were natural.

_I feel released,_

_Bad times deceased,_

_My confidence has increased!_

_Reality is here!_

_The game has been disbanded,_

_My mind has been expanded,_

_It's a gas that Tak has landed!_

_Her lust is so sincere!_

Tak awoke next, center stage, ready to accept any and all applause.

_What ever happened to Fay Wray?_

_That delicate satin draped frame,_

_As it clung to her thigh,_

_How I started to cry,_

'_Cause I wanted to be dressed just the same!_

_Give yourself over to absolute pleasure,_

_Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh!_

_Erotic nightmares beyond any measure,_

_And sensual daydreams to treasure forever!_

_Can't you just see it?_

_Don't dream it, be it!_

_Don't dream it, be it!_

_Don't dream it, be it!_

_Don't dream it, be it!_

_Don't dream it, be it!_

_Don't dream it, be it!_

Membrane was the last to wake up. He was fighting the hypnotism.

_We've got to get out of this trap._

_Before this decadence saps our wills!_

_I've got to be strong,_

_And try to hang on,_

_Or else my mind may well snap!_

_And my life will be lived,_

_For the thrills!_

Dib: _It's beyond me,_

_Help me mommy!_

Gaz: _God Bless Lilli St. Cyr!_

Tak: _My my my my my my my my my my my my my my!_

_I'm a wild and an untamed thing!_

_I'm a bee with a deadly sting!_

_Get a hit and your mind goes ping!_

_Your heart'll thump and your blood will sing!_

_So let the party and the sounds rock on!_

_Gonna shake it 'till the life is gone!_

_Rose tint my world,_

_Keep me safe from my trouble and pain!_

_We're wild and an untamed things!_

_We're bees with a deadly sting!_

_Get a hit and your mind goes ping!_

_Your heart'll thump and your blood will sing!_

_So let the party and the sounds rock on!_

_Gonna shake it 'till the life is gone!_

_Rose tint my world,_

_Keep me safe from my trouble and pain!_

During the chorus, Red and Purple began to walk down towards the stage. They had changed from their servant uniforms, and were instead wearing dress-like armor color-coded to their names.

_We're wild and an untamed things!_

_We're bees with a deadly sting!_

_Get a hit and your mind goes ping!_

_Your heart'll thump and your blood will sing!_

_So let the party and the sounds rock on!_

_Gonna shake it 'till the life is gone, gone, gone!_

_Rose tint my world,_

_Keep me safe from my trouble and pain!_

Purple: _Frankenfurter! _

_It's all over!_

_Your mission is a failure!_

_Your life style's too extreme!_

_I'm your new commander,_

_You are now my prisoner,_

_We return to Transylvania,_

_Prepare the transit beam!_

"Wait, we're going back to Irk?" Tak asked the taller males.

"Told 'ja." Gaz bumped her brother in the arm, not really feeling like she should rub this in, but still teasing out of habit. "Wait, is Zim leaving too?" She clutched at her alien lover's chest, not wanting to let him go.

"Zim will remain here. It is obvious that he has been exiled. We are going back to our home planet of Irk, in the galaxy Transylvania. But-"Purple started to explain. He was cut off by Tak's babbling.

"We're going back? We're going…home?" Her monochromatic eyes filled with tears, which slid down her painted face. For some reason, she started singing.

_From the day I went away,_

_(Goodbye) Was all I had to say,_

_(Now I) I want to come again,_

_And stay. (Oh my),_

_Smile, and that will mean I'm there,_

'_Cause I've seen,_

_Blue Skies_

_Through the tears,_

_In my eyes,_

_And I realize,_

_I'm going home!_

_(I'm going home!)_

_Everywhere, it's been the same,_

_Like I'm outside, in the rain,_

_Free from trying to find the game,_

_Cards for sorrow, cards for pain,_

'_Cause I've seen,_

_Blue Skies_

_Through the tears,_

_In my eyes,_

_And I realize,_

_I'm going home!_

_I'm going home!_

_I'm going home!_

_I'm going home!_

Tak managed to hold that money note for well over thirty seconds. Red gave her a pissed glare and cleared his throat.

"What I was saying," Purple continued, "was that you were not meant to come, Frankenfurter. You were meant to remain here, in spirit form." He pointed a tri-pointed gun at her head.

"Tak!" came the high-pitched, robotic cry from the aisles. "You little bitch!" MiMi cried. "You traded Red and Purple for me, then me for Zim, and now you're trading Zim for Dib! Well, I'm not going to let you break another- AIEEEEEE!" Purple swung his gun arm around and, without aiming, shot the android in the heart with a pink laser beam. Her eyes went grey, and she fell to the floor with a heart-dropping hollow sound.

"Good. I wanted to get rid of that robot the day it showed up." Red muttered.

"Now, as for you…" Purple swung the gun back to its original position under Tak's chin. She turned and ran, that being the only logical course of action. Purple fired the laser, which landed in the center of her back. Tak's body landed at Dib's feet.

Dib bent over her body. Tears were clearly filling his eyes. He lifted the lifeless body to his shoulders, turned around, and started climbing the radio tower prop. Purple slowly moved his arm up to where Dib was climbing. To give him credit, it took a few shots to take Dib down. The flat toppled over, throwing Dib and Tak, now just a pair of corpses, into a pool that no one realized was there. "You killed him! You really killed him!" Gaz yelled in astonishment.

"This castle is going to be beamed back to the Massive. I suggest you leave." Red pointed toward the door. "NOW." Zim, Gaz, and Membrane quickly shuffled out, leaving the bodies of Dib and Tak to be dealt with by the residence.

The remaining trio just managed to exit the castle grounds before the whole thing simply lifted off from the ground. Smoke filled the vast crater the building used to occupy, flooding over the confused survivors.

_I've done a lot._

_God knows I've tried._

_To find the truth,_

_I've even lied!_

_But all I know,_

_Is down inside I'm_

_Bleeding._

_And Superheroes_

_Come to fist_

_To taste the flesh_

_Not yet assist,_

_And all I know_

_Is still the beast is_

_Feeding._

And crawling across the planet's face,

Some insects, called the human race,

Lost in time, and lost in space.

And meaning.


End file.
